From the inane to the insane?! That, my friends, pretty much sums up our immigration issues as it relates to our porous borders.

While the issue is serious, very serious, our actions are very near delusional.

Do we really think that partially walling up the border is a plan that will work? Moreover, is it good marketing for the country? (((I seem to remember a great President uttering a "Tear down that wall," phrase, to great applause.)))

How about our plans for using hundreds if not thousands of unmanned drones, what genius thought up that one? No doubt that he/she was in the midst of full-throttle political
apoptosistic hysteria when he offered this gem of an idea.

Those high priced model airplanes could buzz all about, on a 24-hour basis, snapping glossy 8x10’s of the happy families as they enter the land of “milk and honey.”

I’m sure our residents in our border communities would really be endeared to their country and it’s brilliant planners if we put this doozy of a plan into effect.

And of course, if the illegal aliens get a little too casual and start to pose for family portraits as the planes and their cameras buzz by we could arm the little airplanes and basically have the equivalent of a real live episode of “Combat,” that runs 24 hours a day.

WAIT?!

I’ve got an idea that matches the best that the government has come up with so far.

Get your party hats out and prepare to hail our 51^st and 52^nd state.

That’s right me’s amigos, and you hosers, we should just grab the moose by his tequilas and bring our neighbors into the national patchwork and we’ll have solved the problem.

Mexico first, let's make 'em feel important, patronize ‘em, and just to prove we’re not patronizing our southern brothers, we’ll bring in Canada. What, aren't there only about 57 of them left, up there?

Although, we should probably leave Quebec because those folks speak funny and are cranky. Let’s face it, we have enough cranky funny speaking folks already.

Just think, after this brilliant plan is initiated, all we will have to worry about is a small 750-mile mountainous border with Guatemala and Belize to the south, heck we could grow a looong mescal cactus hedge, you make it through THAT border, you're a haaaapy pappy anyway, floating on rainbows, "speaking water words out of silk trombones." In addition, on the huge border up north, we’re only guardin’ against Santa, so just nationally expense out a trillion dollar missile program and we should put quick work to that guy. . . . Either that, or melt his home ice sheet.

Well, that problem is solved; on to the next major crisis.

Me out!